(Re-Posted from Main by request)
From my experience, I seem to have a good state and frame so I am posting my personal take...
There is tons of great stuff already, but I'll throw my drop of water into the ocean
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Being in State and Frame
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I look at state as a progressive feeling that I allow to come over me over a period of time during the night.
My night starts before I go out. It dosen’t matter how good or bad I feel. I don’t consider myself state dependent, yet that is what allows me to get slowly in state. Sounds a little zen, huh?
It starts when I decide to go out. I shower, clean up and put on my favorite clothes and make sure that I am dressed a bit sexier, flashier that usual, but not so “peacocked” that I feel like a dork who is trying to hard.
I might put on music, like I hear some people do, but I have found if I pump myself up to much, I am setting my self up to come down. So, I don’t worry if I am not in a good state when I get to the venue, because I look at it as a progressive process and I will be in state soon enough.
I avoid all analytical thinking. Vibe, vibe, vibe. Energy, energy, energy. Relax, relax, relax. I am only as reactive as I need to be.
I start with warm up sets on the street. “Do you know where HotChicks bar is?” “Hey, you guys, do you know what time it is?” These sets will be “successful” because they are so easy. Every “successful” set brings me more into state. This is where “Being in state” and “Frame” blend together”.
As I get more talkative, I get more comfortable. As I get more comfortable, I feel more in control. As I feel more in control,
I feel that everything is falling into my frame. And my frame is “I don’t really care what happens tonight, because I am going to have fun, learn new things and I am a cool mother fucker out on the town. Nothing can bring me down.”
I go into the club and open a set. I am actually still warming up.
Let’s say my friends are not there yet. I’ll go to the other bar across the street. You know how it is commonly advised that you venue change and isolate a girl to time distort and build comfort?
Well, when I do quick venue changes early in the night warming up and time distorting MYSELF.
I start to feel like I am super social because I am opening quick sets of girls and guys, early in the night., and at different places in a short time. This warms me up and I can re-open them later if I see them and need some social proof.
I DO NOT analyze any set that I just did, I am only thinking about what is in front of me.
I have a few favorite personal openers that I know work for me. The whole purpose of canned material, and this has been said thousands of times, is so that you DO NOT have to THINK.
Too much thinking is what breaks state. Observing and feeling with your intuition is not “thinking”.
Frame is simply the degree to which I am shakable from my footing. I mean that if I am thinking I am having a blast and I go up to a HB9 and say “Hey, I think we should trade that jacket for this ring!” and she says “I don’t like that ring!” in a bitchy voice and walks off…How do I fell afterwards? How easy was my state broken? This happened to me last night. This type of harsh blowout hardly ever really happens, so I was shocked for about 3 seconds until I realized that I had a funny story to tell the PUAs in the house. If my frame were weaker, it might ruin my WHOLE night.
So, for me, by the end of the night I am totally in state. One of the benefits of going out a lot, is you do get better at withstanding social pressure and you learn to not worry so much about “being in state” BEFORE you go out.
I would recommend letting it happen as you push through the initial shyness, lack of energy or whatever by doing warm-up sets and stop thinking so much.
Get into an energitic, powerful, relaxed, observant, talkative mood, rather than a thinking, analytical, strategic mode. Strategy if fine if it is quick, but mulling over a strategy while you sit there figuring out what to do is not good.
I consider “frame” to be more like a concept akin to "I am an unshakable tree", instead of literal thoughts going through my mind. I don’t literally think shit like “I am a PUA, I am the Man, I must remain in my state so people fall into my frame!!!”
No. It’s a vibe and a feeling of being unshakable.
Some people call this “cool”.
I am non-reactive to shit that I don’t want around.
In my personal private time I might “reframe” things in my mind in order to question my own limiting beliefs and this may be helpful in the field for a newbie, but I don’t re-frame things in my mind in the field. I simple have an unshakable mood that I let build up through the night.
I don’t know if this will help anyone, but I hope so because I see some guys thinking WAY too much.
