Forward from: Pickup Podcast Forum
Author: Nate Matthews
Date posted: March 2, 2008 5:01 PM
I remember back in the day (before being introduced to the the community) being the friend who greeted girls with hand shakes or caught myself blushing after attempted an awkward hug. I changed, if you havent....you can!
Back to the Present:
My weekend was one big party. Pretty fun, met alot of beautiful girl. But what really made my weekend was that these parties allowed me to make some social observations; about the hug.
A quick way to make kino escalate with girls is with the hug. we all know that. Once you hug, lower level kino (arm touching, back patting, incidental kino, etc.) seems as acceptable as breathing and is acutally expected afterwards.
At one of these gatherings I saw an old time friend HB8 who I hadnt seen since before knowing of the community. We hit it off. Bantering in the line to the bathroom (just fyi, a really good way to start talking to strangers especially if AA is a sticking point for you) Im leaning against a wall, shes sitting on this stool. We're interupted by one of her friends (a guy) who rudely interupts us, greets her by saying her name loudly and does the officially most awkward/self imbarassing hug Ive ever seen. He leans in/bends down (because shes sitting), since her back is against a wall his hands end up on her arms(instead of the back) all while she didnt give any indicator she wanted to be hugged. He was rejected, she felt uncomfortable, and I had moved onto bantering with another girl. The moral to this?
The Donts to a Hug
1. Dont hug someone you just met. Thats creepy its your character (see exceptions in point 2. below)
2. Dont hug out of character (if you're a boisterous and loud, or people constantly thing you're gay you can initiate a hug simply by opening your arms. If you're not one of these check out the Do's below)
3. Dont hug a girl when you are standing and she is sitting, this becomes awkward.
4. If the hug feels awkward, it is....figure out why and correct yourself.
*This is a first draft, Im going to do some updates as I do more in field hugging.
The Do's to a hug
1. Be confident, act like you hug all the time (if you actually dont)
2. Look for indicators that she wants to be hugged (you will almost always get these if you have point 1. down.) these include the following
a. She stands up when you enter or get near
b. she opens her arms
c. She has a look of happiness to see you again (if its someone you already know.)
d. Shes done something that has benefitted you (got you a drink, been on your team playing a game...etc.)
* More will be added in the next draft.
Not to make things too much more complicated, you need to be aware of the different types of hugs. There is the "havent seen you in a year" embrace, which I typically dont do, or the "hey!, its been awhile" hug which is what this article is for.
Once you get one of the do's (yes, one is all you need) just put out your arm when she is about 3 feet or LESS away from you. She'll do the rest (refer to Don't point 4) if this doesnt work.
I want this to help as many people as possible, so if you have any questions or comments share them! Thanks
-Nate
