It took me a lot of trial and error to end a relationship, or simple make it a more casual experience for both of us. Where she would be truly ok about it, and we could at the very least remain friends. Your first post above has some good points.
Remember that I come from a place where I truly care about the girl that I'm spending time with, and never intend to emotionally hurt her. When one person is more emotionally attached to the other it's difficult to end or change things without hurting the other person. So there is on perfect way to do this.
I have a sincere talk (always in person) where I tell her how I feel that I can't be there for her emotionally, and I give her the choice to walk away, remain just friends, or keep seeing each other with no expectations. I let her know that I care about her, and then the choice is hers. The important thing is to be sincere (and mean it!) and be fine with any outcome.
I do talk about this at my seminars in more detail, and might post a video to my newsletter at some point, but currently this isn't a big interest area.
