Notes I got from a friend on Paul Janka... i believe this is from his dvd set, solid stuff..
Paul Janka – Beyond The Digits
Elevator pick up clip with Matt Damon -
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=afGu-wDsfBEDemonstrated in the clip:
· Assuming familiarity – He doesn’t offer his name, doesn’t display any background details or credentials, he just launches into a casual conversation like talking to an old friend
· Confidence – Breaks through the stranger barrier
· No passive game – Not thinking “My good looks will make the women come to me”. A man opens and drives the conversation, not the woman
· Perfect pickup time – Between 60 & 90 seconds
· After a little teasing, warmth and rapport, he introduces himself modestly as credible without boasting or bragging
· Dominant, open body language, looking past immediate circumstances(in response to other people waiting in elevator)
· Persistence - It’s in the nature of women to push guys away even when they’re interested – persistence is attractive when kept light and casual
· No formality(“where are you from?”,” what’s your name?”,etc). It creates the stranger vibe
Clubs – Money, hassle, competition, defensiveness, etc. All reasons clubs lose out to day game
On rare occasions do women take the initiative and start conversation or make a move
Theme of penetration – Penetrate her visually, auditory, her life, her calendar, her plans, physically
Mojo/State – Masculine energy is felt by women through their bodies, and when your mojo is high it’s your best state to interact with women
Your territory – Know the logistics of places you go so you can use them to your advantage. Know the props, the lines, where the women are, know the people you see around frequently, etc
Women aren’t stupid, they’re very socially aware and if they come over dressed provocatively/sexy and are flirty they want to get laid and it’s not by accident
Know your real role – the real man role. Not the patronizing role, not the father figure, friend, or overly caring role, and always avoid the non-sexual role
Make her know you’re a man and she’s a woman so she can play the right role
Pull the sex forward - You want to be able to bring that vibe of having a 3 month relationship of dating and sex all the way into the first conversation, and even the first look
Assume familiarity – Avoids you creating the stranger vibe and playing up to formality
Movie trailer concept – 90 seconds to 2 minutes. Leave with her contact information, leave her on a high note wanting more, you’ve dropped credibility elements, and you haven’t come across as a boring guy
Women want to feel safe, but at the same time they want a little danger/excitement
Touch from the beginning
Women are never in a hurry to have sex and tend to draw out things
No dinner(restaurant)dates – They’re non-sexual places, you’re eating, your forced to interact rather than it being natural, and you’re stuck together with a table between the both of you
Being the Mayor – You know everyone, everyone knows you
Field of vision – Your filed of vision should always see potential girls and potential obstacles
That glammed up hottie is relaxed and dressed down in the day
Direct, unapologetic style is an attractive attribute, don’t apologize for making a move
These days men are very timid and soft, and don’t feel like they have the rights to claim a woman. You have to re-ignite that fire inside again
Theme of penetration – You’re penetrating her walk, her conversation, her time, her mouth, her pussy. Men penetrate, women are penetrated, this goes on throughout all interactions from the beginning
Guys push, then the girl holds/pushes back, then let’s go and it creates the polarity between masculine and feminine
The more you yield to a woman, the less likely she’ll sleep with you
Stand by your values, you word, and your terms. Don’t break them. It’s your masculine strength and you should never compromise them to impress a girl
Jack Nicholson : “ I don’t want to be a product of my environment, I want my environment to be a product of me.”
No matter how rich, good looking or successful you are you can’t just wait around for women to throw themselves at you or take the initiative in situations, it’s not in their nature
Good spoken game, confidence and good body language are the most important factors when you meet a girl
Women are both expectant and turned on by the guy doing the work
Mojo/State/Being in the Zone - Big component of Mojo is being present. Talk to everyone/be social to loosen up. Mojo is built by volume/experience and more interactions throughout the day
Women will want to push and break your terms and values. It’s not cruel or mean on their side but part of their nature to test you and feel out your strength, and it’s one way of doing that. When they push and you cave, they lose respect.
When you don’t give in, attraction goes higher
Girls expect and get turned on by being pursued
Guys usually feel they need a reason to make a move; IOI’s, some sort of interest, a look, etc, but it’s not needed. Women spend a lot of time dressing up, doing their hair, waxing, with make-up, etc, and they want and expect to be hit on
Even average girls are very experienced in relationships, they’ve been reading Cosmo and gossiping since they were kids
You will not get rewarded sexually for doing any favours
“Sex boy”, driving boy”, “dinner boy”, etc. Define your role
Anytime you think you’re going to get a reward for doing something for her, you probably won’t. After you’ve got what was being tempted for you, feel free to do the favour
Cultivating your own territory – Internalise your space. Know your area and the places girls are
Girls are usually friendly, but chances are you’ll have to carry the conversation when first meeting
Groups of girls are difficult to win over
Women like bold confident guys. They’ll throw things at you to try to knock you down(feminine trait to feel a man’s strength), but as you push through they get more turned on
Slow your speech down to 50% of how you normally speak
Women aren’t listening to your words. They’re paying attention to your body language, your proximity, tone, eye contact, etc
It doesn’t matter what you say but how you say it
Get the contact details and then leave before her interest levels drops. Leave on a high note. The longer you stay around the more chances you’ll fumble your words, or create an awkward silence
3 most important rules :
#1 – Claim your territory
#2 – Pull the sex forward
#3 – Assume familiarity
In any situation there is always a commonality to share
Assuming familiarity keeps things natural, and bypasses all ‘reasons’ for talking
It’s like having a conversation with someone you’ve been hanging out with all day
Keep the close friend vibe/frame with everyone
Women want to feel connected
Movie trailer Concept – You’re(she is) intrigued, then you have details on when and where to find out more
When girls take your number they’re very unlikely to call
E-mail is not good. It lowers the connection from inter-personal in the first meeting to business like
“No” from the girl isn’t always a definite "no" – use light playfulness and persistence
Sometimes you have to handle multiple objections
Light persistence is attractive. Girls get more turned on as you chew through objections
Always sell dates casually, don’t even mention the word ‘date’
If a girl ever wants your number, enter it in her phone them click send and you’ll have her number(Done obviously and playful)
The longer it takes to get the woman into bed, the less likely you will get to
Define the relationship. Establish both your roles
Boy chases girl. It’s been that way since the beginning of time and it’s always worked. Women want to be chased, pursued, taken and claimed
After sex, there’s no games or fake personas and just a genuine connection
Your roles should be defined as masculine and feminine. There should be polarity. You should always own your roles and not break polarity or cause confusion by playing other roles like having her chase you, letting her be the aggressor, etc
Whether or not you have sex with a girl is 100% your responsibility. Even if she’s really interested in you she’s not going to set up the situation or do the work to get you both into bed. Masculine is the opposite of feminine, mixing traits removes polarity
Funnel everything down to sex. As things progress the funnel and options becomes smaller, until all possibilities lead to sex. A the top of the funnel there are options to be friends, to not have sex, to not meet up etc, and towards the bottom the only options are intimate ones
First impressions set the frame for the rest of the relationship. The first interaction sets a lot of the dynamic of the relationship and tends to stay the same throughout the rest of your interactions with her
Once a woman has an idea of what kind of guy you are(or at least how she thinks you are) it’s hard to change that view
Physical presence – If it’s not possible within the first interaction to have some sort of touch going on, then you should at least have some within the first 10 minutes the next time you meet
Man – Aggressive, makes the first move, initiates, escalates. A woman will only either comply to your advances or not
Phone – Get unlimited text package
Women are sophisticated. They won’t offer intimate personal information unless they want you to know
Always be calm with waiting for replies from girls and show confidence rather than neediness
Choose texts over phone calls. Give as little information as possible before meeting her again, but enough to show credibility and have her feel safe
Her emotional cycle plays a part in her reactions and decisions
Silence your phone on dates
Mass text a lot of girls to guarantee a date and options
'Bringing back the dead' - If a girl you've been talking to flatlines and you suddenly don't hear from her, or things have gone cold, text "the tickets are for 9:00. Did we say dinner at 7:00 or 7:30?" When she gets it she'll think it's for another girl and chances are it will re-ignite her interest and she'll reply, and you can start things up again saying it wasn't meant for her but you can do the same thing with her sometime
Conditions to avoid :
Hanging out with her and her friends on first meet
Large open spaces that lack intimacy
Distractions(so avoid making arrangements on weekends when she’ll be busy)
Choose a lounge date over a dinner date – Lounges have more sexual lighting, atmosphere, you’re seated together more intimately and offers space for more touching
Women feel more connected the more they share, which doesn’t necessarily involve you doing all the talking
Bad subjects to talk about :
Money
Cars
Business
Gadgets
Technology
Etc
Number 1 problem : Guys talking too much
Women are more sexual at night
Your place – Give it a sexual tone :
Lighting – Dimmer(bright lights are a mood killer)
Fragrance
Music
Cleanliness
Candles
Etc
Turning up the heat :
Rapport - Access the little girl inside her
Playful
Let her share elements of her life
Listen
Don’t force things
Tease
Topics of conversation :
Wide & Deep
Avoid ‘guy’ topics
Physical escalation – Ground work should have been laid throughout all interactions, only escalate further until sex is the next step
Final Thoughts :
Keep it light
Women are playful creatures
Don’t take things too seriously
Study fashion(GQ, Esquire, etc)
Expect rejection
Purchase confidence through volume
Taking action builds confidence
Failure is the only way to improve success rate
Successes and failures go hand in hand
Have fun guys! :-D
