When I'm at the dance club, I don't dance at all, and a common theme usually comes up...
I'll be talking to girls NOT on the dancefloor, and the reason they're usually not on the dancefloor is because guys on the dancefloor are trying to molest them.
So when they talk about these "guys trying to rape them on the floor" I'll run this routine:
"I used to have friends that were like that. They were like hot dogs searching for buns all night long. They even counted how many people they danced with, and bragged about it. Great job guys! You have not only successfully rubbed your man parts on 16 girls, but you've also sexually assualted them as well! You should be so proud!
As far as I know girls don't brag about stuff like this. I've never heard a girl say "Oh my god. I so totally rubbed myself on like 16 guys legs tonight. It was totally cool!"
They honestly should put rubbing posts on the dance floors just for these guys. Kind of like the scratching posts they have for cats so they'll stop clawing up the furniture. Just some big lumpy spandexed covered posts off to the side somewhere where guys can get their rub on so the girls can dance in peace.
In my studies... or as some saw it....me standing off to the side watching everyone else dance... I have noticed that girls have devised a complex system of defense to protect themselves against these male interpretive dance humpers. Some girls just freeze, others walk away, and some have the guts to push the guys away....but these aren't always affective against guys who may interpret these as signs that he should just try harder not spill beer in their hair. So most girls get together with friends and form a large circle to dance around. Not only does this provide a protective space for their shoes, but it also provides 360 degrees of lookout protection. I like to call this "the circle of trust and designer shoes."
So if a guy is getting ready to come up behind one of the girls, the girl directly across the circle from her will give the "you have a spider on your shoulder!" look and the girl in danger of becoming a hot dog bun will do "The Spin."
The spin is a highly technical move that involves spinning either left or right to another part of the circle so that all the guy sees is ass...boobs...ass....boobs which is confusing as all hell with all those strobe lights. It's like a superhero waving his cape and vanishing into thin air.
Sometimes you can watch a guy try to approach several girls within "a circle of trust and designer shoes" and he will literally get dizzy and fall over from all the spinning."
