I had a conversation recently with some like minded friends about how a man can remember a split second glance that he caught of a beautiful women, perhaps that he saw over 10 years ago, and never even spoke to. Many of these strong memories are catalogued in our brains. Why? Women don’t experience this, at least not to the same extent as their male counterparts. However, women maintain memories of more specific emotional connections. Whether that be the feelings of being sexually dominated, and her corresponding sexual submission, or a chance encounter and the strangely deep comfort connection she felt with the other person.

In today’s western society these emotional experiences are what can give the informed male the edge. Of course other parameters come into play when we talk about how women experience attraction, such as; physical beauty, security, social value, etc. But right now I am fascinated by this difference in how our brains process short interactions with someone and how we then feel more attracted to that person.

From reading books on evolutionary biology it is my opinion that there are specific mechanical reasons for this difference in male and female experience. Good books on this subject include, “The Selfish Gene,” and “The Red Queen.” Let us assume for a moment that the purpose of life is to survive. What needs to survive exactly? My offspring will not have my memories, my thoughts, they will not be me. Our genes survive. In the Selfish Gene, Richard Dawkins discusses the concept that we are mere complex vessels evolved over time to allow our building blocks, our code, our real intelligence, our genes to survive. We are survival vessels.

In the Red Queen arguments are made as to why human beings have evolved to be a sexual species, rather than a species that replicates through an asexual process. Once again, this is optimum for our survival against the constant bombardment of ever evolving parasitic infection.

So why the difference between how men and women process experience into feelings of sexual desire? Why is it that women are most often the sexual choosers? The answer is rather simple. Women get pregnant, and as such they must carry the child with them for 9 months. During which time they are extremely vulnerable. Following the child’s birth the mother and child remain vulnerable for a considerable amount of time. Evolution has provided women with a different selection mechanism than men have, to counter this added vulnerability.

We have not yet evolved to accommodate for prophylactics, and sexual relationships that will not lead to child birth. Our body chemistry, and our attraction mechanisms act as if every interaction will lead to the woman being susceptible to this pending long period of vulnerability. Similarly, we have not evolved past our primitive tribal social environment, which also has implications on how men and women interact with each other in today’s environment.

Women need emotional connection; they need to feel that they have pair bonded with the man they are going to have a sexual relationship with. They are genetically hard-wired to select men whom they feel will stay around to protect them and their child. This is why when a woman thinks about the men that she has felt attraction to she will usually think in emotional terms. This is also, according to Mystery, why women experience last minute sexual resistance.

This same argument presents us with another phenomenon, that of the “gold digger”. It is my belief that all women are, to varying degrees, are attracted to social status. Men with social status, are more powerful, and are more likely to be capable of providing for them and their offspring. This isn’t necessarily a conscious decision process, and in fact can be very subtle. Developing the skills to be adept at conveying social value has been a proven tactic to influence sexual attraction, and is a large piece of Mystery’s indirect game theory.

Let us not exclude that we are talking in general terms here. There is a percentage of society, both men and women, who are more psychologically influenced in their sexual behavior. Whether, that be from childhood trauma, or simply their genetic makeup. In my experience with women it has always been due to their childhood environment.

Yes, it is also true that women, like men, are attracted to physical beauty, simply because this is a strong indicator of successful survival. Good genes in our mate will combine with our genes through sexual reproduction, and will provide a better chance of superior genetic survival abilities for our offspring, and therefore for our own genes.

Finally, back to the male half of this equation. No matter how successful, powerful, or attractive a man is, when he visually sees a beautiful woman he will always feel himself stop, and experience a need to align himself with her. The more physically beautiful, the stronger the feelings. Without the same personal survival needs of the female, the male’s sexual urges are far more dependent upon seeing physical beauty. We have just discussed how physical beauty is the best indicator of gene survivability. Therefore, when a man thinks about women he has found attractive he has a database of visual, and often momentary fragments frozen in time.

To conclude, women are hard-wired to evaluate potential mates based upon a complex set of intertwined attributes. Less than average looking men may have to work harder in certain situations, not all situations, but as you can see there are far stronger influences at play. So much so that good looking guys can often be left bewildered as to what they are doing wrong, and why they can’t seem to meet women.

Whether or not the theory is accurate I don’t care because in practice it works. Tyler’s theory is that women are naturally sexual creatures and they instinctually want to mate with alphamales. However, through social programming they feel that if they follow these urges they are a S-L-U-T. Therefore, subconsciously, when they feel their buying temp raising, and feel themselves losing control they will do everything possible to pull themselves out of state. The theory makes sense to me, and I even discuss topics like this with women…. BUT I will state again that really what matters is how effective this is when put into practice.

There are also points of opportunity for progressing the sarge (phase shifting) as this buying temp escalates.

AMOGs know what raises a woman’s buying temp, and they know what shut’s it down. I doubt that any of them truly understand why, but they know it works. The main way that an AMOG snaps her out of state is to pull you into a logical convo in front of her…. and then proceed to run game to convey value and bring her back into state with him.

Notes on what does and does not raise Buying Temp

• Logic kills attraction. Logic controls social programming. EMOTIONS create attraction and raise Buying Temp. Emotions DO release chemicals in the brain, which are often diffictult to differentiate from attraction.
• Getting them giggling/laughing is less about raising buying temp, and more about giving them a reason to stay in set. Humour and Intrigue is less about attraction and more about holding the set and getting them to listen. I often forget this principle and become waaay too entertaining in set and lose the opportunity of the reaching the Hook-Point to escalate.
• Setting up validation processes. Baiting her to continually validate herself to you raises attraction.
• Push-Pull. This is where you convey, either directly or otherwise that you dig her, but quickly follow by conveying that you don’t.
• Cocky & Funny
• Kino, and escalating sexually
• Women’s girlfriends are very keyed in to each others buying temps, and they purposely pull them away or do certain things to snap their freind out of state. On the rare occasion you will game an HB and her friends are cool because they know that she wants to get laid.

Is Raising Buying Temp Enough On It’s Own?

With some types of women YES. With others, and I think the majority NO. This is why you need to simultaneously build other elements. These other elements include; Conveying value and social status, Building comfort and trust, conveying sexual subcommunication, have her perceive you as being the fuck of a lifetime.

Although I mentioned Vlidation in the Buying Temp notes above, I want to add something here. Mystery talks about how with club super hotties, even when you run really tight game they can lose interest. This is because they are soooo socially proofed/validated. They have super-HSE. Therefore, Mystery discovered that by adding in a jealousy sub-plot into his interactions he maintained intereset from such HB’s. This is actually triggering a very strong Validation mechanism.

I’m sure you can relate to this. Say you’re out with a pivot or just an HB friend, and she mentions this new guy that she really likes, or perhaps calls the guy in front of you. Then even if you are not attracted to her you feel somehow more attracted. This does work really well on women. Part of my new gameplan is to calibrate as to whether I need a jealousy subplot, and if so bring one in.

I’ll write more thoughts on this, but right now I’m in a coffee shop and my laptop battery is low.

Almost EVERYONE I met so far screws up this shit, and it totally fucks up their sarges.

If you do this, don’t feel bad. 99% of guys I meet do it to various extents (myself included).

This is the extension of the “10 alpha qualities” post, which was when I was first figuring out what this shit meant. Back then, I was just posting observations. This post contains conclusions, having now thought about it.

ERADICATE this shit, and your game will go up B-I-G-T-I-M-E, more than ANY tactics will help you. This is part of what’s called being a “natural”. Even with nothing else, if you know this stuff you’ll do well socially, and probably get laid. This stuff is the KEY.

This stuff is only for people who play the REAL game, not the INTERNET ARMCHAIR GAME. So guys who don’t actually PLAY can skip this, because there’s not much theory in it – its directly applicable.

25 POINT CHECKLIST

1. FIDGETY MOVEMENTS AND TIGHT SHOULDERS AND TAKING YOURSELF TOO SERIOUSLY OR BEING TOO BUSINESSLIKE OR “SOPHISTICATED” (not laughing or being relaxed) = very visible subconsious (or conscious) self-doubt, overcompensating through non-relaxed state, where you’re prepared to deal with anything that could happen. Ever met someone who doesn’t blink when you talk to them?
2. TALKING TOO FAST = worried that people will stop listening to you unless you get out something that will interest them before they leave
3. LAUGHING AT YOUR OWN JOKES = covering up that you aren’t affected that others didn’t laugh, and social nervousness
4. SAYING “RIGHT” OR “YOU KNOW” AFTER STATEMENTS = seeking validation that what you said was true, or saying it because others aren’t
5. STANDING WITH LEGS NOT HALF A METER APART AT LEAST = worried that you’ll infringe on other people’s personal space
6. TALKING TOO SOFTLY OR LOUD = fear that you’ll impose yourself on people and their personal space(ie: beta).. alpha males aren’t afraid to project their voice.. YET, talking obviously too LOUD can also be seen as OVERCOMPENSATING. Just like guys who wear GENERIC clothes are trying to fit in, or guys who wear OUTRAGEOUS clothes are trying too hard to overcompensate. (hint: be careful with peacocking, find a style that doesn’t come off this way, which can be tricky but is still very doable).. Some guys don’t talk, some talk too much, etc etc.. Find appropriate balance through trial and error, which is determined through social observation,
7. MOVING YOUR HANDS AROUND WHILE YOU TALK = trying to keep the attention
8. LEANING IN or ‘PECKING’ = too eager to talk.. NEVER lean in no matter how loud the environment is MAKE HER LEAN IN or just leave but NEVER lean in or “peck” as its also called.
9. FACING BODY/FEET TOWARDS HER BEFORE SHE EARNED IT = trying to gain rapport with her too eagerly.
10. CHASING WHEN SHE WALKS AWAY = hoping she’ll listen. If a chick moves away from you, move your bodylanguage MORE away from her, so she’ll be drawn back.. don’t CHASE her… WTF?!@?!?
11. NOT WITHDRAWING (backturns, etc) WHEN SHE DOES SOMETHING THAT YOU WOULDN’T TOLERATE FROM AN UGLY GIRL OR A GUY = trying too hard to pick her up
12. ANSWERING QUESTIONS TOO QUICKLY/EARLY = too much interest in the conversation
13. TURNING YOUR HEAD (OR “SNAPPING”) WHEN YOU’RE ADDRESSED = too eager to be in convo.. so if your head is facing the other direction, and a girl says something to you, turn it SLOWLY to her, don’t snap it out of eagerness to hear her
14. GOING BACK TO A PRIOR THREAD THAT WAS INTERUPTED AT THE FIRST CHANCE/BREAK-IN-CONVO THAT YOU GET = trying too hard to impress them.. (ie: when a thread gets broken off in the convo, and you go back to it FIRST chance you get when the other topic ends, you look like you were WAITING to get back to it.. WHY are you so eager to get back on it, unless you don’t feel comfortable around the person and you need to qualify yourself to them?) WAIT until THEY say “what was that you were saying before?”, and THEN go back to it.. if it doesn’t happen, DROP IT even if it was good.
15. NOT APPEARING MORE INTO YOUR WINGMAN THEN THE CHICK = trying too hard to pick her up.. you’ve known your wingman longer than her.. why do you pay more attention to her than your wing???
16. TOO EAGER TO PAY ATTENTION – SAYING “what?” IF YOU CAN’T HEAR HER, PRIOR TO BEING IN RAPPORT = too much interest in what she’s saying.. if she mumbles, just STACK OPENERS into an entirely DIFFERENT topic, RATHER than saying “what?” This is fucking KEY KEY KEY. If you say “what?” you’ll lose her unless you’re already past attraction and into rapport. If this happens, just run a new opener and change the topic. 1- you don’t look too eager, 2- you look alpha for being disinterested in what she’s talking about which helps anyway.
17. REPLYING WITH OVERLY THOUGHT-OUT OF LOGICAL ANSWERS OR WITH OVERLY CLEAR/FORMAL PRONUNCIATION = being concerned that you won’t be accepted unless you convince really well (eg. HB: why did you ask me that… RIGHT = I’m talking. (sit and stare) WRONG = because I really need to know since I’ve been thinking about this for a while.. the FIRST one conveys that you won’t qualify yourself to her)
18. TAKING TOO MANY SENTENCES TO STATE AN IDEA THAT COULD BE STATED IN LESS SPACE = qualifying yourself. Commander Zap emails me a few months ago: “Remember TD, don’t write what you can say, don’t say what you can wink, don’t wink what you can smile” TIGHT. The shorter you can explain something in, the more PROFOUND you’ll appear. Why? You’re not qualifying yourself. (ironically I’m massively guilty of this, due to the fact that I post when I’m really tired – see #21 to spot what was wrong with this last sentence)
19. BEING BOLD INSTEAD OF CONFIDENT = that you know that you can’t pick her up, so you compensate with self-defeating actions so that the snub can be on “your terms”. Saying “I’m sexy right?” or “baby I want some of that” or even just approaching when the logistics are totally unrealistic is too eager, because a CONFIDENT person wouldn’t feel the NEED to say these kinds of things.. these things are symptoms of OVERCOMPENSATION for INSECURITIES.. which leads to……….
20. OVERCOMPENSATING INSECURITIES = fear of not being accepted. Have you ever met a janitor who the first thing he says is “money is over-rated.. I would never get caught up in the corporate world” blah blah.. if they’d have just said “I’m a janitor” and LEFT IT AT THAT we wouldn’t have even THOUGHT that anything was wrong with it.. but because they INSTANTLY start overcompensating, it comes off as overcompensating or qualifying. Same with if they BRING IT UP TOO EARLY. Like “hey, I’m Steve.. I’m a janitor and I love it”.. They’re TRYING to be cocky but it comes off as COMPENSATING. BE COMFORTABLE WITH YOURSELF. If you’re BALD, don’t say “would you love a bald man?” as a pickup line. It’s not COCKY…. its BOLD. If you’re bad looking, don’t say “don’t you think I’m sexy”. Just be comfortable with yourself, and don’t bring up the issue at all.
21. OVERCOMPENSATING FAILURE OR SHORTCOMINGS = fear of being judged.. if you do poorly on a presentation, or on a sarge in front of a wingman, or on a test, DO NOT SAY DUMB SHIT LIKE “I’m really tired”. EVEN IF you’re ACTUALLY really tired, the mere act of saying “I’m tired” comes off as QUALIFYING yourself to the person. Just don’t bring it up. If you have shitty clothes on, don’t say “I have nicer clothes at home.” Just don’t bring it up. If you meet a girl when you’re dressed bad, don’t say “I have the coolest club clothes at home” Just don’t bring it up.
22. GOING BACKWARDS IN THE PICKUP ON HER SCHEDULE = too eager to lay her.. if you’ve already GONE THROUGH the whole “let’s ballbust and shit test eachother” attraction phase of the pickup, and you’re now in RAPPORT → if she tries to ballbust you at this point then just WITHDRAW ATTENTION. DO NOT BALLBUST BACK. It seems COUNTER INTUITIVE, but once you’ve gone through that whole little attract phase, and you’re now being nice to eachother in rapport, DO NOT let her rewind the sarge by answering her ballbusting with ballbusts of your own. Just withdraw attention, to show that you’re not interested in going BACKWARDS in a sarge.
23. WAITING FOR HER IF SHE LEAVES FOR ANY REASON (LIKE SAYS “I’M GOING TO THE WASHROOM, WAIT HERE) = too eager and into the convo.. if she goes to the washroom, make sure you’re into another set by the time she gets back.
24. OVERLY REMEMBERING DETAILS ABOUT PAST CONVOS = convo means too much to you, because the person has unusual value to you (ie: a hot chick). Of course, I’m not advocating to be a total dick, but the general rule of thumb is that if you wouldn’t have remembered a FAT CHICK or a GUY saying it, then don’t remember the HB9 chick saying it. If some random dude said it and you would have remembered, then FINE. If you were in an unusually intimate convo that’s also fine. But otherwise FAKE forgetting, even if she’s a model and you remember every word. Even forget her name. If you see a random chick from your class or work, but you never talked to her, OPEN LIKE YOU DON’T KNOW HER. Don’t give into the temptation to say “we work together”. Just open like a random chick, and maybe if you get snubbed then pull out that card to save face, but only as a LAST RESORT.
25. OFFERING TOO MUCH ABOUT YOURSELF TOO EARLY = too eager to make them like you.. subcategories of this are:

• Verbally: if you say to a chick “yeah, I just got back from NYC (or any cool place that would impress)” or “yeah, I just got my Rolex fixed”, or “yeah, my stripper ex-girlfriend told me…” then she PICKS UP on the fact that you’re trying too hard to impress her.. Same with NAME DROPPING.. DON’T GIVE GIRLS YOUR RESUME TOO EARLY.. Personality conveying routines should convey personality COVERTLY, so it looks like the story is just SO COOL that its WORTH TELLING on its own accord, and it just HAPPENS to have some good things about you in it. When offering good things about yourself, don’t offer boring details. Say it with less detail, and it seems less eager. INSINUATE THAT WHICH YOU ARE TEMPTED TO ELICIDATE (holy shit, I just made up that last catchy sentence, but I’ve gotta say that I’m the shit.. right?)
• Entertaining: If you have stuff like patterns, or the CUBE, or magic, or photos, or palmreading, and you do this EARLY, it comes off as TRY-HARD. Personally I don’t use any of these things, but alot of guys do, and when they bust them out prior to the chick EARNING it, it comes off TRY-HARD. Use the stuff LATER, but not right away.
• Wanting rapport with someone who didn’t earn it: WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT? I swear to god, almost EVERY PUA I meet live in field does this shit, and its SUPER LAME. Going up to a chick and saying “nice necklace” or “what’s your name” or “where did you get that?” is FUCKING DORK SUPER LAME. WHY THE FUCK DO YOU CARE ABOUT THIS STUFF FROM A R-A-N-D-O-M PERSON??? The counter argument to this is that you’re not hiding your desires blah blah blah she’s a hot girl and she should be happy that you’re approaching, but this is INTERNET RHETORIC.. and this approach is STILL hiding your desires behind the GUISE that you’re nice, so even if the rhetoric was true, it would STILL be ineffective… In the INTERNET ARMCHAIR GAME this stuff is FINE, but in the REAL FIELD GAME this shit screws you over before you’ve even started gaming. It’s fucking bullshit, and NOBODY who isn’t very goodlooking or socially proofed (or whatever high value) PRIOR to going in, can make this kind of approach work consistently on HB8.5+ chicks. TRYING FOR RAPPORT TOO EARLY IS QUALIFYING YOURSELF TO HER BECAUSE SHE HAS NOT EARNED IT.
• Talking without feedback: When you’re talking to someone, and they don’t give feedback, and you’re talking and talking, you BETA YOURSELF. It’s a DOWNWARD SPIRAL, where you start talking TOO MUCH, and you SENSE that you’re qualifying yourself, so you overcompensate EVEN MORE by TALKING and TALKING more and more.. Then you feel more and more beta’ed because you qualified yourself, and you’re left treading water, grabbing at ANYTHING that will impress the person, so you keep talking in hopes of saying that one thing that will impress them. AVOID this by not talking too much unless THEY give some feedback. IN THE FIELD you do this by PAUSING and FORCING them to fill in the awkward gaps.

Alright that’s it. I’m really tired so if the post wasn’t clear its because its 5am and I’m tired and normally it would be really good. Style is sitting over my shoulder right now and he says that this post I’m writing is really good, and he likes it. I’m a really good PUA and I date models and and hotties and almost the Dahm triplets, and my students say I’m the best instructor in the game, so really you know this material is tight. I’m in the field non stop so you’d better read this stuff, because its for real. I can even pickup in NYC and LA, the world’s toughest environments. Before when Formhandle said I wasn’t a good PUA that was because he didn’t get it cause he’s too serious. My high-5 stuff works, he’s just too uptight to grasp it. It works, I’m serious. Honestly guys, I’m so fucking cool… RIGHT? Cause I wrote the spastic ramblings and the How to PUA actually for real, so this stuff is as tight as that. I take philosophy at Queens guys. That’s the best school in Canada. If I can get good marks there, I can figure this stuff out. That’s why I get laid so much. Don’t forget that I’m using Pimp-Method. I have so many female friends, I’m so socially proofed.

To me, this is a very important post.

Social Intelligence. Having struggled so hard to learn it, I have so much to say on this topic. In this post I’d like to specifically discuss social vibing and insecurity (a very focused, but important peice of the puzzle).

There are many subcommunications that are being telegraphed at all times in any interaction. Both verbal and non-verbal.

Social interactions have features and customs that I suppose are designed to make them pleasant.

As social animals, we have the attribute of actually enjoying socializing just for the sake of socializing.

We socially VIBE.

People who break the vibe are considered socially unintelligent, and despite being perhaps very good/worthwhile people, they will come across poorly.

Most people, once you get to know them, are really worthwhile. I’ve rarely met someone, who when put in a position where I was by circumstance made to get to know them, that I didn’t come to like.

So what’s the difference between someone who is COOL and someone who is UNCOOL?

The way that they COME ACROSS. Their level of social intelligence. Their ability to CONVEY it. TELEGRAPH it. SUBCOMMUNICATE it.

Understanding how to socially vibe telegraphs that you are secure with yourself. Failing to understand telegraphs insecurity.

Much of this post assumes that early game is now past, and you are in comfort building (if you use my PU model, if you are using Juggler’s, for example, then this would apply from the very start because he is full rapport).

LAUGHING AS VIBING

Laughter is not only a stress relief mechanism. It’s actualy a social mechanism.

Laughter basically shows that your social group is vibing well. Monkeys, while they can’t talk like we can, still laugh when they are in rapport with each other.

Think to when you were telling a joke, and the group vibe was just so TIGHT. The people were starting to laugh before you’d even delivered the punch line. Maybe you said “I haven’t even told the joke yet, and you guys are laughing”. And they can’t figure out why, and they laugh even more as you say this.

Also, think of how when you use cocky tactics, girls laugh/giggle. This is a sign that they are wanting to vibe with you.

The movie “Goodfellas”, in the scene where Joe Pesci is telling jokes at the restaurant table, and everyone is laughing harder and harder. Ray Liotta can’t stop laughing. It’s not just the humour. It’s the VIBE.

People who are not socially intelligent will LAUGH AT THEIR OWN JOKES. They laugh prior to the group starting to laugh.

Notice next time that someone laughs at their own joke first. Were you JUST ABOUT to laugh, but then didn’t when they did first?

They were attempting to FILL IN THE RAPPORT GAP.

When the boss of an office tells a joke, everyone laughs. When the beta male tells it, he worries that nobody will, and laughs at his own joke to fill in the so-called rapport gap.

Concentrate on VIBING, and don’t try to artificially push rapport.

Better, is to WAIT until the group laughs, and THEN laugh with them.

This gap is also seen when people say “right” after all of their sentences. They are trying to FILL IN the “right” that the other person SHOULD have said themself, IF THEY HAD been socially vibing properly.

RHETORICAL SEQUENCING

People, when talking, use weird (when you think about it) rhetorical sequencing. Here is an example:

A guy is excited that he got a cheap deal on a coat.

GOOD VIBING

• GUY: You’ll never guess how much I got this coat for.
• FRIEND: Wow.. Umm, 200$.
• GUY: No man. 45$
• FRIEND: Wow.. Nice man.

BAD VIBING

• GUY: You’ll never guess how much I got this coat for.
• FRIEND: Oh you got a deal. I guess 30$ then.
• GUY: Umm, actually 45$
• FRIEND: Oh.. well that’s not bad.

Notice that the friend TELEGRAPHED SUBCOMMUNICATIONS of INSECURITY.

His thought process was: “I’ll show GUY that I’m smart. I’m clever enough to pickup on the fact that if he said “You’ll never guess what I paid”, that he got a deal. Then I’ll have shown him that I passed his test.”

His INSECURITY caused him to miss out on the social vibing, which was intended to build excitement and wasn’t a test at all.

The secure guy, although realizing that the coat was really cheap, would still guess something lower end, but still high enough that if the guy’s deal wasn’t as great as he thought, he’ll still feel good. After all, its bought, so why worry about that stuff (UNLESS you seriously could hookup a massively cheaper deal and return the coat (which the socially intelligent guy would ascertain before even suggesting it), in which case the happiness derived from that would outweigh actually telling the guy that he didn’t get the best deal).

ANOTHER EXAMPLE

GOOD VIBING

• HB: I just got this crazy shirt. Look at it.
• PUA: Wow.. Cute!

BAD VIBING

• HB: I jsut got tihs crazy shirt. Look at it.
• PUA: Cool.. Hey you know in L.A. that shirt would be nothing. I should bring you there sometime.

ANOTHER EXAMPLE

GOOD VIBING

(Friend1 drives to Toronto for the first time with Friend2)

• FRIEND1: Wow man, look at that building.. That rocks..
• FRIEND2: Whoa.. That’s pretty big dude.

BAD VIBING

• FRIEND1: Wow man, look at that building.. That rocks..
• FRIEND2: Dude, that’s cool.. But man, you should see NYC. Man, NYC KILLS this place.

(JLAIX: If you’re reading this, who does this remind you of? HINT: His first name is *LERON*).

Again, with these examples, the person who is not vibing right does not get something: The purpose of the initial comment was NOT to ACTUALLY debate it. It was to SOCIALLY VIBE. The content was not the REAL communication. It was a surface for SUBCOMMUNICATION, which INTENDED to say “Let’s have a nice time, and have rapport with eachother and relax.”

The insecure and socially unintelligent person is taking the sentences of the first person, and FIELDING them as OPPORTUNITIES TO QUALIFY HIMSELF.

HEIRARCHIES – ROLE IN SOCIAL INTERACTION

We all get our moment in the sun at some point.

You’ll notice, that when you are holding court, that sometimes people will be insecure with that.

The secure guy will recognize when its someone’s turn to hold court, and not fight it.

A person who is secure will talk to ADD EMPHASIS to a point. He will not DISPUTE a point while someone is holding court. He knows that he’ll have his chance LATER, and that right now someone is trying to get a point across.

Guys who are insecure will constantly dispute points whenever they see the opening. They view is at an opportunity to demonstrate their value.

They CANNOT RESIST the temptation.

For an example that everyone reading this can recoginze, look to this chatboard. Something tight will get posted. Insecure posters will nightpick semantics. Like “While this is important, its maybe an 8 out of 10 level importance. Not a 10 like you said.” The secure poster, if he finds the level of emphasis on a level where its honestly misinformative, might post “I think that x,y,z are really good, man. I think that you might consider less emphasis on it though, because a,b,c are important as well. Good post though man, I like x,y,z”

ANOTHER feature you’ll see on this board, and that is in the same vein, are THROWING LITTLE NEGS or TRYING TO COME OFF AUTHORITATIVE WHEN ITS NOT YOUR PLACE.

For example, you’ll see guys trying to get rapport with someone they don’t know by throwing little negs.

GOOD VIBING

• *OLD* FRIEND 1: Hey Stevo, you fucking bastard.. C’mere gimme a hug

BAD VIBING

• *NEW* ACQUAINTANCE: C’mere you fucker, help me out.

The second is BAD vibing, because he is trying to FORCE rapport with subcommunication that is only appropriate of old friends.

Similarly, you’ll see guys who try to come off authoritative. You’ll see it on the board, where a guy will post something quality, and someone who doesn’t like him will post “That’s very quality material. Good that you posted something of quality”. It’s like he’s trying to come off authoritative. Like he realizes that he’s negged on the guy on the chatboard, and he feels insecure that the guy he negged produced something worthwhile. So he has to come in and be all authoritative, like “I can show everyone that I recognize a good post”. Guys in real life will see someone who they publically disliked starting to improve himself, and say things like “Good that you’re improving. KEEP IT UP.” By this, they are trying to CONTROL what is happening. They are trying to say “Improve, because *I*, the AUTHORITY, approved.”

More on this… If you’ve ever ever ran a very good presentation at work or school, and you see an insecure person come up to you and criticize.

They don’t realize its YOUR TURN TO HOLD COURT. Their turn is LATER.

So they throw little negs at you. Like they always have to offer advice on how you could have improved it. They can’t just say “Good job man”.

Or they have to nit-pick subtleties. Like they can’t say “That was awesome”. They have to first go over their advise on where you fucked up.

For a real life example that most guys on this board can recognize, when you meet up with another guy from the scene through PAIR, if he’s insecure he’ll do the following:

1. Talk about game non-stop, rather than PLAY.
2. Watch you do a set, and CRITICIZE on what could be improved, rather than encourage.
3. You tell him about something that happened, and he gives you ADVICE, rather than just listening.

SOCIAL INTERACTION WITH “VIBING” AS THE PRESUPPOSITION, NOT “DISCUSSING AN ISSUE”

When socializing, a good vibe will be set when the reason for being there is to enjoy eachother’s company.

However, sometimes a bad vibe can be set when the presupposition is that you’re there for a SPECIFIC PURPOSE.

Of course, there is nothing wrong with purpose. It has a place, and more of my daily interactions have a purpose than those that are to socially vibe.

However, recognizing that tagging a set purpose to an interaction will often stop a nice vibe from occuring, will help with a pickup.

Insecure people will often LATCH onto a purpose for the conversation, as a way of maintaining it.

Then they’ll leave on a “high note” once that purpose is exhausted.

This is a MAJOR cause of flaking. You maintained a conversation with a girl, but the presupposition was that you were discussing an issue. You left on the high note, but didn’t realize that you were actually REINFORCING to the girl that you are not socially compatible.

When going to meet up with you again, she’ll think “Well, we really have nothing more to talk about though. I don’t want to have nothing to talk about, because that would feel unfortable”

As guys, we don’t care. We might feel nervous that we’ll have nothing to talk about, but we want sex. But girls, if the feel uncomfortable, they won’t show up. That’s one reason why guys who smoke pot get laid alot. Girls rarely flake on them, because they have that social presupposition that will give comfort. For the rest of us who don’t smoke, we use SOCIAL VIBING rather than FORCED social interaction, to maintain comfort.

Clinging too strenously to a particular topic can come across insecure. When you say to a friend “Let’s go have a beer”, the subtext is “Let’s go socially vibe”. You don’t go discuss an issue, and say “Let’s reconvene later”. You go and you chill. You have a FRIENDSHIP. Non-party-chicks rarely flake on guys they have both attraction AND friendship with. But they do flake on guys who attract them, tongue them down, and say “Give me your #.”

PRACTICAL FEMALE INTERACTION

In summary, how does this apply in practical terms?

Most of it comes in, during comfort building phase. Or if you use a different PU model than I do, then its when you’re getting to know the girl either way.

1. Don’t crack jokes to the girl, and laugh at them before she does. Wait. You’ll notice that it sometimes takes even 10-15 seconds for a joke to process. But it DOES. I usually bust on her for it “Oh, slow processing time.. That’s OK, you’re my little sister.. I didn’t adopt you for your brains”

   Also, don’t say “right” after everything. It can come across beta. Right?

2. When a girl is trying to impress you, RECOGNIZE it as her QUALIFYING herself. If you reject it, you’ll come across insecure, or socially unaware.

   This is DIFFERENT than the C&F stuff early, where you break rapport on purpose. In fact, much like how the “25 Points to not trying too hard” assumed that you were in EARLY GAME, this post to some extent at least assumes you are PAST early game.

   SHARE her excitement by recognizing rhetorical social sequencing.

3. Recognize when its your turn to talk, and when somebody else is being focused on.

   MUCH MUCH of the mid/later game is the chick qualifying herself to you.

   Because our pickup model encorporates alot of not trying, you’ll notice your best pickups (with NON-party-chicks at least) are with the ones who at some point EARN your attention.

   They perceive that they’ve WON your interest, and plan to COLLECT THE PRIZE (your dick in their mouth).

4. If a girl tells you about a problem, just LISTEN and change her emotion. Say “Ouch, that’s sounds tough.. But hey, you’re a powerpuff girl, and you know you’re to fiesty to let this stop you.. Let’s check out x,y,z”

   Definetely don’t offer advice. If she wants advice, she’ll say “WHAT SHOULD I DO?” Unless someone asks me what to do, I rarely offer advice. OR, I say “You know i have experience with this, so maybe later you can ask me about it.”

5. Focus on SOCIALLY VIBING and don’t CLING TO TOPICS. This will prevent flaking, and make her feel comfortable around you.

   Don’t leave on a high note. THERE IS NO HIGHNOTE. There is only vibing and flipping the switches that she needs to have switched in order to fuck you.

OK retards, that’s it. Cool post, RIGHT? HAHAHAHHAHAA..

-TD

===================================================
Newsgroups: alt.seduction.fast.advanced
Subject: Social Intelligence – vibing
Date: Mon, 15 Sep 2003 03:32:00 -0400
On 9/10/03 11:17:39 AM, finalD wrote:
>> SOCIAL INTERACTION WITH
>”VIBING” AS THE
>PRESUPPOSITION, NOT
>> “DISCUSSING AN ISSUE”
>>
>>
>
>Key to all geekiness …

haa, I like that analysis – I agree completely.

It’s true, geeks need a presupposition to hang out. Interesting. I think I’m a natural geek, for sure.

Thanks for all the great feedback. I thought the guys’ answers to the questions that were given were really bang on, and covered my bases.

I suppose this sort of approach is the “external” way of coming at the problem.

The other way of course would be the “internal” way, which would mean improving your inner game so that you’re not needy and you’re not insecure.

I think that inner approach is great and has alot of value.

At the same time, the externally focused approach is what solved my internal issues, because once I figured out the points of how internally-balanced people acted, I got laid and then started to feel better internally.

Like one thing I like to do with newbs is tell the girls from the set I’m in that they have to tongue him down and grab his dick, or I’ll leave and blow them off. Or I’ll tell a girl from a 2set that if her friend isn’t warm to my friend, I’ll leave because he’s bored. The girls do this, and then the newb walks around strutting like he’s the man for the rest of the night. Then he PU’s another separate chick on his own, gets MOMENTUM, and it snowballs. These are extreme cases of the externally focused approach, but just focusing on the mannerisms of successful guys can do the same.

At the same time, for alot of guys they really need internal work. Like no success will fix them internally. So I think that both approaches are great.

I know Twentysix is now running great game, and he did both externally focused stuff (going out 4 nights a week), as well as seeing a psychologist.

-TD

Tyler Durden